The Grouchy Family

[Vixen]

A 5th grader asked her mother the age-old question,
'How did I get here?'
Her mother told her, 'God sent you.'
'Did God send you, too?' asked the child.
'Yes, Dear,' the mother replied.
'What about Grandma and Grandpa?' the child persisted.
'He sent them also,' the mother said.
'Did he send their parents, too?' asked the child.
'Yes, Dear, He did,' said the mother patiently.
'So you're telling me that there has been NO sex in this family for 200 years?

No wonder everyone's so damn grouchy around here.'

[Tigerv8]

Kids are smarter than we think.

Two little boys were playing together abd one says to the other, "I am 5. Howold are you?"
The other replies, " I'm not sure whether I'm 4 or5."
First one says," Tell me, do you smoke?"
"No."
"Do you drink beer?"
"No."
"Do women bother you?"
"No."
"You is 4!"

[Red_Ice]

EXCELLENT

[Vixen]

A first grade school teacher had twenty-six students in her class. She
presented each child in her classroom the first half of a well-known
proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb.
It's hard to believe these were actually done by first graders.
Their insight may surprise you.
Whilst reading, keep in mind that these are 6-year-olds because the last one is a classic!


1. Don't change horses - until they stop running.

2. Strike while the - bug is close.

3. It's always darkest before - Daylight Saving Time.

4. Never underestimate the power of - termites.

5. You can lead a horse to water but - How?

6. Don't bite the hand that - looks dirty.

7. No news is - impossible

8. A miss is as good as a - Mr.

9. You can't teach an old dog new - Math

10. If you lie down with dogs, you'll - stink in the morning.

11. Love all, trust - Me.

12. The pen is mightier than the - pigs.

13. An idle mind is - the best way to relax.

14. Where there's smoke there’s - pollution.

15. Happy the bride who - gets all the presents.

16. A penny saved is - not much.

17. Two's company, three's - the Musketeers.

18. Don't put off till tomorrow what - you put on to go to bed.

19. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and you - You have to blow your nose.

20. There are none so blind as - Stevie Wonder.

21. Children should be seen and not - spanked or grounded.

22. If at first you don't succeed - get new batteries.

23. You get out of something only what you - See in the picture on the box

24. When the blind lead the blind - get out of the way

25. A bird in the hand - is going to poop on you.

And the WINNER and last one!

26. Better late than - Pregnant :eek: