A Change of Career

[Vixen]

A Gynaecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and HMO paperwork, and was burned out.
Hoping to try another career where skillful hands would be beneficial, he decided to become a mechanic. He went to the local technical college, signed up for evening classes, attended diligently, and learnt all he could.

When the time of the practical exam approached, the Gynaecologist prepared carefully for weeks, and completed the exam with tremendous skill.
When the results came back, he was surprised to find that he had obtained a score of 150%. Fearing an error, he called the Instructor, saying "I don't want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wonder if there is an error in the grade.

The instructor said, "During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark. You put the engine back together again perfectly, which is also worth 50% of the mark."

After a pause, the instructor added, "I gave you the extra 50% though, because you did it all through the muffler." :omg:

[Tigerv8]

Did you all know that some of these tin-pot little African/native countries have some great jobs.
One place has a bloke whose job it is to annually inspect all the local girls under about 17 to see if they are still virgins. Fair dinkum. I've seen the photos. And looked at them very closely.
Another joint has a professional man who is paid by parents to take their daughters' virginity.
No bull. Apparently the parents would rather see it done properly for ther sake of the girl so she will like sex and therefore the prospect of having her own children will be enhanced.
Who wants to be a merchant banker when there are jobs like this?:tribe:

[Red_Ice]

cool like that

[BlackOne]

:lmao: Both great posts there Vixen and Tiger. Now those have given me a huge laugh.

[Vixen]

And have you ever noticed how all 'Girlie' problems start with men???

His terectomy
Guy naecology
Men opause

Hmmmm! The things we gals put up with!! :thinking2::wallbash:

[Purple_Power]

MEN tal breakdown.
HIS teria.

Men. You can't live with 'em.

Men. You can't live with 'em, you can't shoot 'em.
Oooh that reminded me of a whole bunch of man bashing jokes. I might wait until we gals outnumber them before posting though. :)

[Vixen]

Oh, look Glenys ...
shhhhhhhh .... let's not say it too loud!
All we gals have to do is pull out the handcuffs and the fellas will be lining up to be cuffed.
They can't help themselves.

Then post away!!!
I'd love to read them! LOL

[wazza]

A man with a bald head and a wooden leg is invited to a fancy dress party.
He doesn't know what to wear to hide his head and his wooden leg so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain his problem. A few days later he receives a parcel with a note:

Dear Sir,

Please find enclosed a pirate's outfit. The spotted
handkerchief will cover your bald head and with your wooden leg you will be just right as a Pirate.

The man thinks this is terrible because they emphasized his disability, so he writes a letter of complaint. A week passes and he received another parcel.

Dear Sir,
Sorry about the previous parcel. Please find a monk's habit. The long robe will cover your wooden leg and with your bald head you will really look the part.

The man is extremely furious now, because the company has gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to drawing attention to his bald head. So he writes a really rude letter of complaint.


A few days later he gets a very small parcel from the company with an accompanying letter:

Dear Sir,
Please find enclosed a tin of Golden Syrup. Pour the tin of Golden
Syrup over your bald head, stick your wooden leg up your arse and go as a toffee apple

[pink bits]

LMAO

[wazza]

Oh, look Glenys ...
shhhhhhhh .... let's not say it too loud!
All we gals have to do is pull out the handcuffs and the fellas will be lining up to be cuffed.
They can't help themselves.

Then post away!!!
I'd love to read them! LOL

Ohhhhhhh that's it am going home , been waiting here for two days !!!!!!!! no hint , or a sign of :handcuffs: coming out , bugger , bugger , !!!! ............... YOU GALS !!!!!!

[Purple_Power]

What does it mean if a man is in your bed, out of breath and calling your name?
That you didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

What should you do with a man rolling around on your front lawn at 3am, calling your name?
Shoot him again.

How many men does it take to change a toilet roll?
No one knows, it hasn't happened yet.

More later. I've gotta do some work. :)

[Vixen]

Far out! My sides are killing me Chequers!!
That is pure GOLD!
:lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:
:lmao:

[pink bits]

What does it mean if a man is in your bed, out of breath and calling your name?
That you didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

What should you do with a man rolling around on your front lawn at 3am, calling your name?
Shoot him again.

How many men does it take to change a toilet roll?
No one knows, it hasn't happened yet.

More later. I've gotta do some work. :)

LMAO.............so true!

[Tigerv8]

Just goes to show you that men are not the mean, nasty, vindictive creatures that women are. We have far more important things to do than make up jokes about women. We go and do man stuff such as leaving the toilet seat up, etc just to give the women something to bitch about.
It's quite funny to watch.
Here is a true story.
About 10 years ago we had a client who was a farmer. This guy decided to get married and we wished him well. A year or so later he came into our office and one of the partners asked him how married life was. Honest truth, this is what he said.
"Mate, if she didn't have a c*** she'd be out there pulling a plough!"
A quote I have never forgotten.