Tuesdays Joke of the Day

[BlackOne]

Sex Therapy - Florida Style


A Florida couple, both well into their 80s, go to a sex therapist's office.

The doctor asks, "What can I do for you?"

The man says, "Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?"

The doctor raises both eyebrows, but he is so amazed that such an elderly couple is asking for sexual advice that he agrees.

When the couple finishes, the doctor says, "There's absolutely nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse." He thanks them for coming, he wishes them good luck, he charges them $50 and he says goodbye.

The next week, however, the couple returns and asks the sex therapist to watch again. The sex therapist is a bit puzzled, but agrees.

This happens several weeks in a row. The couple makes an appointment, has intercourse with no problems, pays the doctor, then leave.

Finally, after 5 or 6 weeks of this routine, the doctor says, "I'm sorry, but I have to ask. Just what are you trying to find out?"

The old man says, "We're not trying to find out anything. She's married and we can't go to her house. I'm married and we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $98. The Hilton charges $139. We do it here for $50, and I get $43 back from Medicare...!

[Tigerv8]

Quote from George Burns (comedian)
" Trying to have sex when you're 90 is like trying to shoot pool with spaghetti."

(He lived to be 100)

[Vixen]

Apparently these Police Comments were taken off actual police car videos around the USA:

1. 'You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through.'
2. 'Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They stretch after awhile.'
3. 'If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document.'
4. 'If you run, you'll only go to jail tired.'
5. 'Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you.'
6. 'You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?'
7. 'Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?'
8. 'Warning! You want a warning? OK., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket.'
9. 'The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?'
10. 'Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat fairy floss and hot dogs and step in horse poo.'
11. 'Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster.'
12 'How big were those 'two beers' you say you had?'
13 'No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can.'
14 'I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail.'
AND THE WINNER IS....
15 'You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here.'



I'll keep number 2 in mind! ;)

[Vixen]

And so it begins .......

[Tigerv8]

The poor septic tanks.
Looks like they may have to choose between a woman and a black man for president. (Well they do have an actor and a professional wrestler as state governors!)
And Castro no longer rules Cuba.
The world is changing.