Tigerv8
04-10-2007, 10:31 AM
"Hello and thank you for calling the State Mental Hospital.
Please select from the following options menu:
If you obsessive compulsive , press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone yo press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3,4,5 and 6.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the mothership.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696996969.
If you are bipolar, please leave a short message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short term memory loss press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9.
If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. Our operators are too busy to talk to you.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are menopausal, put the guns down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and dry. You won't be crazy forever.
Please select from the following options menu:
If you obsessive compulsive , press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone yo press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3,4,5 and 6.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the mothership.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696996969.
If you are bipolar, please leave a short message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short term memory loss press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9.
If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. Our operators are too busy to talk to you.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are menopausal, put the guns down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and dry. You won't be crazy forever.